Feedback from Scott and Michael: General Comments:
There's some really great moments in this short film that will engage and entertain an audience! There's a few things for the group to think about in regard to appropriateness of the details at the end. Script formatting will help this script read easier. It will also make things much easier for the actors involved in the making the film. (Refer to notes from wk3). Below is some scene specific things to watch. Scene 1 -What is the urban myth you are referring to? What is the exact discussion that they have? Scene 2 -Good build up but I think you can build it up a little more with scripting in the first scream. "OMG" - When script writing please use real words - not text talk... Scene 4 - I love the interaction with the title screen - it's a nice touch! Have you purposely messed up the shooting dialogue? Up to "COREY RUN" is really good I can see it coming together well. But I have a question...: Is the content
after this point really appropriate for a school based project? (ie would the school be happy for you to make
this?) If it is okay from the school's P.O.V is it acheiveable given the resources available to you?
Some suggestions to get around this are: - Spend more time building up the "urban myth" referred to at the beginning. If you describe the horrible things
"Jason" did as part of the myth, you won't necessarily have to show it! - With this in mind it could be possible to end it @ "COREY RUN". Could there be a backstory of interviewing town locals about any ghost stories they know of??This can support the myth and give a real reason to go to the cemetery in the first place... Before gaining approval to shoot this group must: - Redraft script - Prove content approval by an appropriate school representative. - Create storyboards and have them approved. - Undertake basic "magic of film - simple ghost making workshop".
FRIDAY THE 14th!!! First draft script:
Feedback from Scott and Michael:
General Comments:
There's some really great moments in this short film that will engage and entertain an audience! There's a few things for the group to think about in regard to appropriateness of the details at the end. Script formatting will help this script read easier. It will also make things much easier for the actors involved in the making the film. (Refer to notes from wk3). Below is some scene specific things to watch.
Scene 1 - What is the urban myth you are referring to?
What is the exact discussion that they have?
Scene 2 - Good build up but I think you can build it up a little more with scripting in the first scream.
"OMG" - When script writing please use real words - not text talk...
Scene 4 - I love the interaction with the title screen - it's a nice touch!
Have you purposely messed up the shooting dialogue?
Up to "COREY RUN" is really good I can see it coming together well. But I have a question...: Is the content
after this point really appropriate for a school based project? (ie would the school be happy for you to make
this?) If it is okay from the school's P.O.V is it acheiveable given the resources available to you?
Some suggestions to get around this are:
- Spend more time building up the "urban myth" referred to at the beginning. If you describe the horrible things
"Jason" did as part of the myth, you won't necessarily have to show it!
- With this in mind it could be possible to end it @ "COREY RUN".
Could there be a backstory of interviewing town locals about any ghost stories they know of?? This can support the myth and give a real reason to go to the cemetery in the first place...
Before gaining approval to shoot this group must:
- Redraft script
- Prove content approval by an appropriate school representative.
- Create storyboards and have them approved.
- Undertake basic "magic of film - simple ghost making workshop".